My Little Run-Away

On Thursday of last week, April 27, 2006, my oldest daughter did the unimaginable.
She did something that has left me feeling so very sad,
so heartbroken,
so angry.
She hurt so many people with her actions.
What did she do?
She left.
She walked away.
She dropped out of school...
with only days to go before graduating.
She ran away with a "man" she only briefly met two years ago.
A man that doesn't know of the lies that my child has told.
She is living with a family that thought they were doing the right thing for my daughter,
without getting the facts.
They all believed a child...
took her word as if it were written in gold,
and helped her to leave her home.
The people that love her the most.
Me.
I have discovered that the lies she has told to so many people are so outlandish,
so unbelievable,
so disturbed...
and THEY believed her.
They didn't get the facts.
They didn't even try.
They just took her work for it...
and now she is a high school drop-out.
I am angry.
I am hurt.
I am confused.
I am sad.
The child that I love so,
decided it best to spread her wings now...
before getting her diploma...
all while spreading lies about me, to her teachers and her friends.
Just like spreading manure on a flower garden.
My child is obviously in need of counsel.
I've been trying...
I've been pleading...
I've been praying.
But she still left.
Without a word.
Just like it was any other day...
she got out of the car when I dropped her off at at school...
and never looked back.
She snuck away like a criminal.
Afraid to face the people that love her the most.
She was a coward.
And I'm in pain.
Pain, because my child needs help.
And she wouldn't allow me to help her.
She ran away from her problems...
only to create more.
Maybe it is selfish of me to feel the way I do...
but I am hurt.
I am angry.
Very angry.
I feel betrayed.
Again.
By yet another person in my life, that I loved more than life itself.
I almost feel like she isn't my daughter anymore.
And I don't like the way that feels.
Maybe that is how I need to deal with this right now.
When I look at her picture,
I don't know who it is that I am looking at anymore...
just like her dad.
I don't know if I'm strong enough to take anymore.
I don't know how to keep moving on.
And yet I have another child who needs me.
Now its just the two of us.
That doesn't sound right...
it should be the three of us.
I pray that God will take care of Brittany now.
I can only hope that she will come to her senses before too long, and see what chaos she has created for all of us.
I fear that she will learn a very hard lesson.
The trust between us is broken,
and I pray that we can be healed.
I am her mother.
And I will love her unconditionally,
but I will not always support her decisions.