Dealing...

Do you ever feel like you're drowning?
And you can't reach the surface to take a much needed breath?
Do you ever feel like you're encased in a bubble?
And you can't break free?
Sometimes, I feel just like that.
Like I'm in a bubble, rolling around, doing what I feel I am supposed to do...
playing the game, following the rules...
and I can't break free...
and be me again.
I don't know who I am anymore.
What happened to the girl with the strawberry blonde hair?
The girl with hopes and dreams?
I'm now a woman with strawberry blonde hair...fighting a losing battle with gray.
I was once a person who knew what she wanted...needed...to be fulfilled,
but have now turned into someone who can't find her way.
I can't break free to the other side.
I can't catch my breath.
And what's worse...
I don't know how to figure this out.
Sometimes I just want to scream until my voice is gone.
Sometimes I just want to run...far away.
Sometimes I just want to embrace everyone and everything around me.
Sometimes I just want to be left alone.
Sometimes I just want to be with my friends.
I MISS my friends.
I am lucky to have so many...but they live all over the United States.
I wish I could see them now!
Oh...it's all good.
I'm just trying to figure this life of mine out...
it can be overwhelming,
you know?