divorce sucks...and not only for me
it is so bizarre...how my life has turned out.
the events that have taken place in the past year and a half, have changed so many people.
i never thought we would be a statistic.
and yet, we are.
but it is the happenings that are going on "behind the scenes", that don't really involve me anymore, but are constantly brought to my attention; thrown in my face, if you will. I see a little more clearly everyday, that what is going on, no matter how much it hurts, is probably the best thing that ever could have happened to me. My children don't deserve what has happened, but for even them, I know that this is the right thing. The man who used to be number one in our lives, is so out of character; so out of control, that it is frightening.
but, oh how i wish, things would get easier for us. my youngest daughter is now facing what my oldest and i have known for quite some time now, and it absolutely breaks my heart that she is in so much pain. her tears rip me to shreds inside, and i would do anything humanly possible to take her pain away.
and yet, i can't.
this man has taken my childrens happy, oblivious youthfulness from them, and that makes me very angry...and sad.
how do you hurt what you have created?
my beautiful girls...they deserve so much more.
the events that have taken place in the past year and a half, have changed so many people.
i never thought we would be a statistic.
and yet, we are.
but it is the happenings that are going on "behind the scenes", that don't really involve me anymore, but are constantly brought to my attention; thrown in my face, if you will. I see a little more clearly everyday, that what is going on, no matter how much it hurts, is probably the best thing that ever could have happened to me. My children don't deserve what has happened, but for even them, I know that this is the right thing. The man who used to be number one in our lives, is so out of character; so out of control, that it is frightening.
but, oh how i wish, things would get easier for us. my youngest daughter is now facing what my oldest and i have known for quite some time now, and it absolutely breaks my heart that she is in so much pain. her tears rip me to shreds inside, and i would do anything humanly possible to take her pain away.
and yet, i can't.
this man has taken my childrens happy, oblivious youthfulness from them, and that makes me very angry...and sad.
how do you hurt what you have created?
my beautiful girls...they deserve so much more.
posted by Janet @ 4:23 PM
1 Comments:
At 7:34 PM,
todd day said…
Janet,
I'm so sorry to hear how more and more things just keep coming to the surface. I guess on the one hand, like you say, it's best that you know these things now. But dammit it's gotta hurt. I just know it does.
I know how I felt almost a year ago when little tidbits and whisperings started filtering in to me from so many sources. All the talk about things I had no idea of .... or maybe I did have an idea but I refused to believe it.
It hurt so bad.
It still hurts so bad.
And the funny thing is, Tori and I are ok as friends now. It took me over a year to get to that point. But I can talk to her on the phone and see her in public and I'm ok.
But damn .... while all that shit was going on it was impossible!
I feel for both your girls. I hope Brittney can help Shannon come to terms with her anger and pain.
Keep me informed. I'd love to know what transpired with the "other woman" who contacted you.
I'll be in school this week on Tuesday and Thursday til late. On Wednesday I'm taking Miss Stacia out to dinner (actually she claims she is taking me out to dinner, ie: she's paying ... we'll see about that ....LOL) but I'll check my mail.
Take care!!
toddster
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